I think UBurger needs to be considered within the realm of fast food (which is not a realm in which I often dwell) – and, considered as such, it’s quite good. I had just the regular burger (with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, and “house spread” – a sort of “secret sauce” that dribbled everywhere. I’d probably ask to leave it out next time). It was a thin, sort of dry patty, but was pretty flavorful and the toppings and bun all seemed very fresh. I also found the fries to be quite addictive, and I’d probably order more of them next time.

More than a mouthful – because really one mouthful would be a lousy burger

The next contender for the title of Boston’s Best Burger was the area fast food chain UBurger. I don’t know why it’s called “UBurger”; at first I intimated something primal (“Ur-Burger”), but their vast and creative menu was enough to convince that this wasn’t what they were going for. Possibly the u is a result of the post-Apple vowel-appending frenzy; possibly an iBurger was somehow less appetizing than a burger meant for u, built how u like it. Maybe it’s just near Boston U. Whatever.

As a dining experience, UBurger was fairly traditional fast food in its presentation. You basically just roll up to the counter, spell out the manner in which you’d like them to customize your burger, and wait a minute or two for the guys at the stove to tenderly craft your meaty little bundle of joy. UBurger suggests several versions of burgers, but you can always build your own. To BYO, you start with a basic bun and patty ($4), and can add tons of condiments, which are all reasonably priced (~30 cents and up). A straight up cheeseburger is pretty cheap, but if you get fancy your burger can get pricey quickly, especially considering that it’s served a la carte. Fries and drink are fair as standalone orders, but will add 3 or 4 bucks to your order, so a meal here will run just south of $10.

UBurger’s Yuppie burger. Bleu cheese is underneath the patty; ketchup has been added.

Because they offer so many customizations, it took me about 10 minutes to figure out what burger to order. I finally settled on a personalized version of the Yuppie Burger – sautéed mushrooms, bacon, crumbly bleu subbed for swiss, with a standard patty all on a bun. What I didn’t expect to find was that the lettuce and tomato had gone missing. Some advice for those of you who hit up UBurger: Make sure you ask for lettuce and tomato, if you want them! I tacked on a side of fries, and picked up my food a minute or two later. Everything was presented on a cafeteria-style tray, and the burgers were wrapped in foil, which I guess makes sense for takeout.

The burger patty itself was pretty good. As far as fast food burgers go, I’d go so far as to call it excellent. UBurger prides itself on using fresh beef – as does, say, Wendy’s – but here it holds up and the result is much better than Wendy’s. The burgers don’t taste frozen or anything. Our group was in general agreement on the seasoning: The burgers were heavily salted and even more heavily peppered – on the Yuppie, the black pepper taste carried through even over the bacon and bleu cheese. Somehow I found that this served to compliment the other flavors, but I could see how someone else might find it offputting. The bacon was cooked to perfection, and the bleu was generous but not overwhelming, similar to the bacon and bleu I received at RF O’Sullivan’s – not a small feat for a counter stop! My mushrooms were not gourmet, probably from a can, but had been well sautéed and were enjoyable nonetheless. UBurger’s burger buns are soft, almost chewy, clearly fast food bread, which is appropriate.

I expertly raise my lip to initiate bite mode

As stated, the big disappointment was the lack of lettuce and tomato, but a little proactivity (or awareness) on my part would have remedied that. An additional markdown was again partly my own fault – being hungry, I should have added a second patty for a buck. After eating my burger and a side of fries, I wrestled vocally (much to the chagrin of my fellow burgerleurs) with the idea of getting another sandwich. Moderate to large appetites will want to double up.

UBurger served up a pretty solid fast food burger experience and I wouldn’t hesitate to send a friend there for a quick bite to eat, but there wasn’t anything about the shop that overwhelmed me either. I’ve had better fast food burgers – but not many, so I would label UBurger as significantly better than average. UBurger is very good, but in a city with several notable boutique fast food burger joints, I don’t think it will be a prime candidate for the title of Boston’s Best Burger.

RF O’Sullivan’s veggie burger was completely unremarkable, and not very good.

Additional Comments: I think I’ll go for an A-. I have had better burgers but I have to give them props for being able to cook a burger that shape – and do it well. I was also a fan of the fries and the ambiance.

High points: Burger was cooked perfectly; the cheese and sauce were in perfect proportion, imparting taste and flavor without overwhelming the taste of the beef or getting all over my hand; the veggies were nice and crisp; the bun was soft, and appropriately sized. The sides were good, especially the 50/50 option. The decor and the atmosphere in the place were great. Also, you can smell the burgers from like 2 blocks away, which i loved.

Low points: Fries are waaaaaaay too big. Place was extremely crowded.

Not much wrong from a burger perspective, but the overall experience was slightly off. Very slightly.

Additional Comments: I think the fries should come with baked potato fixins – sour cream and whatnot. Since they are so large, the insides of fries are much more akin to baked taters. But the burger itself was pretty darn good even though it lost structural integrity. I knew that might be the case when I ordered it medium rare and it was stuffed with blue cheese.

RF O'Sullivan's Big-Ass List of Burger Types

My Grade: 83 out of 100

i had a burger on the specials menu entitled ‘the bocce ball’. no one could say this without laughing, but it’s hard to put a finger on exactly why it was funny. this entailed a healthy slab of capicola and a thick slice of mozzarella on a big oblate sphere of a burger. okay, i exaggerate about the shape, but the burgers are smaller in diameter yet thicker than you expect.

it’s all plainly made on the spot–you can picture it being scarcely evolved from something they’ve been doing for decades (for all i know the place hasn’t been around that long, but somehow i doubt that), and they score major points for cooking a thick burger medium rare properly, albeit without being terribly juicy. in this particular case, the end result was quite tasty, with the yummy meat and cheese providing ample extra flavor to a really good hamburger.

in other news, the fries are notable for sheer enormity, but not too much else; the onion rings are the way to go. let’s say it’s 83 out of 100.

Our Blurriest Shot of Stef

I had the cheddar onion burger which featured an addictively good spicy/sour onion sauce-like creation. Since the burger weighed in at a purported ½ lb. (and did indeed look pretty enormous) I didn’t think I’d get anywhere close to finishing it–but because I didn’t eat all of the bun and the bun was fairly small (relatively speaking), I came pretty close. (And also, I was very hungry.) The patty itself was flavorful and juicy and hand-packed with love.

The fries were tasty but way too big for my liking (seriously, one fry is like a quarter of a freakishly large potato), and way too finger-burningly hot. I liked the onion rings much better; they have just the right amount of batter and it somehow stays on the onion–not a small accomplishment.

Blast off!

The first stop in our massively important quest to define Boston’s best burger was the highly regarded establishment RF O’Sullivan and Sons. This modestly sized bar is good for basically two things: Beer, and burgers. Thankfully this is why we came here. Well-known for its expansive selection of amply constructed ½ pounders, RF’s has been chosen as Boston’s Best Burger by local papers and even reviewed by the Phantom Gourmet.

Because the purpose of this venture is to plumb the depths of burger quality and construction, I won’t go into too much detail regarding the venue itself. It’s a small but popular place and on a Friday night it gets fairly packed. Thanks to a responsive bartender, the wait for a table was fun and by the time the Burgerleurs were seated, we were feeling quite relaxed. For my part I was exceptionally hungry, having had lunch about 8 hours prior to dinner.

I waited with bated breath amongst my compatriots as RF’s grill masters worked the open flames just behind the bar. My appetite was exacerbated by the wafting smell of grilled meat; even two blocks from RF’s, we could smell dinner floating along the cold winter breeze. I opted for a bleu cheese and bacon sandwich called the “Out of the Bleu”, which was purportedly stuffed with bleu cheese. There’s really nothing in this world I like to eat more than a burger with melted bleu, and stuffing the patty with this cheese seemed like an amazing concoction. Unfortunately, they neglected to stuff my patty and instead heaped the bleu cheese on top. Fortunately, the sandwich was delicious despite this error.

RF's Bleu Cheese Burger Complete with Massive Fries

The patty itself is more of a lump of ground beef than a flattened “patty”. This is not processed or shaped meat by any stretch of the imagination. The burger I was served at RF’s is reminiscent of burgers I’ve cooked myself over hot coals on many a summer night, on the occasion when the whimsical sprites that govern the outputs from my grill decide that I’m not going to burn, overcook, or otherwise spoil freshly ground chuck. I order my burgers medium, and the burger I received was cooked perfectly.

What the lump shape means practically is that the burger itself is pretty hard to eat. The lack of filler means that the patty is apt to fall apart in your hands, especially after a few juicy chomps. Make no mistake – these burgers are juicy. A solid tablespoon of burgery goodness spilled from my sandwich as a took my first bite. I noted several patrons gamely doing their best to keep their sandwiches together; one woman jammed a finger into her pattylump to shove it back into the bun, then picked it up daintily between both thumbs and forefingers and took a little nibble. One Burgerleur saw his burger fall in half and plop unceremoniously to his plate. Mine held together well enough, needing only moderate coaxing to hold to a configuration roughly describable as cohesive.

Anticipay-yay-tion

RF’s burger toppings were a mixed bag. A bleu cheese burger needs a compliment of bacon; the bleu was crumbly and in just the right proportion to the meat, and the bacon was cooked perfectly, just shy of crispy. High marks for those, but the veggie toppings were of very low quality. The onions were fine, sliced thin but a bit soft. The piece of iceberg lettuce felt like an afterthought, and the slice of tomato was pitiful. It was roughly the size of a slice of pepperoni, about ¼” thick, whitish-pink, crunchy, and tasteless. When it fell out of my burger, I didn’t bother to put it back. The bun itself was nothing to write home about, but it wasn’t bad either. It basically stayed out of the burger’s way – a reasonable tactic for a burger bun, but I’d rather have the bun compliment the construction. Finally, the pickle slices provided were Sysco-standard chips.

When you order a burger at RF’s, you’re given the choice of fries, onion rings, or a mix of both. I’d like to go on record as saying that these were both really top notch. The fries are huge. I don’t know where they get these mutant potatoes, but each fry is roughly the size of your entire face. They’re hot to the point of scalding and are smooth enough to literally melt in your mouth – no gritty potato texture to deal with at all. And while I’m not a big fan of onion rings, I think RF’s rings were possibly the best I’ve ever had – greasy, hot, sweet and oniony with enough crunch to satisfy the biggest onion ring craving going. You get a big pile of whatever you order, which means that you’re not leaving RF’s without a full stomach.

The draft beer selection was passable but not particularly interesting, with stalwarts like Guinness, Stella, Sam, and Harpoon all present. Rob, my fellow Burgerleur, and I each had a Guinness and Rob noted that the beer had a distinct “bacony” nose. After he pointed this out I couldn’t get over it; he was right. We ascribed this to dirty lines, and then drank the beer anyways. Discretion may be the better part of valour, but we never expected the resposibilities of Burgerleuring to be valorous, simply indulgent. And indulged we were.

Another view of RF's fare

In closing, RF O’Sullivan & Sons provides a pretty awesome burger experience. The actual meat of the burger itself is going to be hard for other establishments to beat and the fried accompaniments were just stellar. The burger is genuine, perfectly grilled meat on a no-nonsense bun. It is messy, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Really, the only place RF needs to make significant improvement is in their veggie toppings for the burgers. If they could straighten these out, I’d give them a few more points.

We Burgerleurs have a contribution to make.

Maybe we won’t save the planet.  Maybe in some small way, we’ll even help to destroy it.  But damn it all if we’re not going to at least enable Bostonians to find the tastiest burger imaginable before we all go down in pyrrhic flames.

This project is a simple one.  Burgerleurs are invited by myself to engage in this noble task; they are my stalwart companions who know a primal love for the burger in its purest form: On a bun, with a set of favored toppings and a cold beverage.  Because the Burgerleurs have been chosen for their deep appreciation and knowledge of tasty sandwiches, I have asked them to suggest target establishments.  Burger-peddling venues are nominated by the Burgerleurs, whereupon we endeavor to visit these venues as a collective, order burgers, eat them, and report our experiences in an entirely subjective manner into this blog.  (It is possible that once we have completed our own evaluations, we will accept crowdsourced venue nominations.)

After we have reconnoitered Boston’s sundry burgerdom, we will produce a ranking to proclaim, from this digital mountaintop, Boston’s Best Burger.

The ranking evaluates only the burger itself – not the environs of the restaurant or the price, unless the type of burger is at significant odds with the price.  We’ll consider toppings, presentation, bun, quality of meat, or anything else we feel likes considering as pertains to the burger.

Burgers will be scored on a percentage scale, 0 to 100%, with 100% being the best.  Because burgers are awesome, a score of less than 75% (average) will require substantial justification.

And this is all there is to it.  Let the games commence.